sunsets, you know?

today i got away. yes, it was only for a few minutes. but yes, it was perfect.

i sat. i read. i just started So Long Insecurity. it is powerful. they are needed words. i sat. outside. in the almost-cold. at sunset. reading. alone. with my music. hymns. with Jesus. as i watched the sun descend on the horizon, i was mesmerized. every single time i looked at the sky, looked down, and looked up, it was different. Jesus was painting the sky for me. He knew i wanted to feel close to someone in that moment, and He was letting me know that He was watching. He was paying attention to me. He knew my heart and knew that, by using the sky, He could reach down to earth, for 30 minutes, and sit with me.



the world, my life, is constantly changing. just like that sunset. it never looks quite the same, but it can always be beautiful. sunsets are interesting to me. and i wonder why i am just now sitting down and taking the time to realize this. the sun and the sky are two things too big for the human mind to even begin to comprehend. yet, when i was sitting there by myself, i was captivated by the intimacy of the colors swirling above my head.



this weekend i spent a lot of time in solitude. i am beginning to enjoy it. i have been able to think. to listen. to know things about my heart i had never known.

i am listening to a friend listen to music and sing along with the words, "You can have all this world, but give me Jesus." and once more that is what i want to leave you with.

2 posts in 2 days. hmm.

i just wanted to share this because i am so happy. i have a great pandora station, a sonic coke, an incredible candle, an open window, and my journal.



it's the little things, you know?

it is well...

it is well.
with my soul.

i have a lot to do. i need to wake up early. i won't be going to bed anytime soon. but who am i to worry about what will happen? it is well with my soul. my heart is so happy. God has made my joyful today. even when i don't know what tomorrow will bring, i can rejoice because i know the Lord is with me. He is directing my every footstep. He loves me and cares that I follow his will.

i have a specific mission that only i can fulfill.

i am ready to do just that.

take this world, but give me Jesus.

let's do it again.

Classes for the second semester of my freshman year start Tuesday. That is three days from now. I have been in Fayetteville since Thursday. My belongings are all moved back in to my dorm room. From my window I can see students and their parents pull into parking spots and begin to unload laundry baskets and suitcases. As I think about the 16 weeks to come, I can't help but wonder what is in store. At SMC a couple weeks ago, I made a list of answers to the question, "So, what am I going to do?" This list became more or less a list of spiritual New Year's Resolutions.

-begin the day in praise and thanksgiving
-trust solely in the Lord
-LEARN
-pray continuously
-meditate on the Word in order to examine my life
-ask questions
-let someone in
-be held accountable
-let go of my pride
-seek purposeful fellowship
-be more intentional with my time
-hold my tongue
-purify my thoughts
-fight temptation daily
-retain knowledge to gain wisdom
-practice discernment
-put the word into action
-MAKE AN IMPACT on someone's life
-bless someone every day

Most of these things are very general, and I have no clue what they will look like in my life this semester. I could pretend I knew exactly what decisions I would make and steps I would take over the next few months, but that would get me nowhere. So, here I am. I have a list of goals. I have the first couple of steps to take to reach those goals. I am eager to see what the Lord will do in my life to help me along the way. He has begun to reveal himself to me. I know He won't hold back. So I won't either.

i tried to hit everything...

i finished my journal the other day. so, i took the time to go through it and think back on some of the things that happened this semester. it was very entertaining to read about the times i was frustrated and the times i was encouraged. here's what i wrote about that:

highlights:
-"i want to be more sensitive to the Lord's calling and whispers in my life" (8/23)
-frustration: "i want to move forward...to be able to make the sacrifices necessary (9/5)
-Acts 3:29-30 A Prayer for Boldness
-searching, earnestly praying for the Lord to bring someone
-next step?
-seek the Lord above man
-Shelby Taylor (10/6)
-first realization that results in my spiritual journey will not be immediate
-Kallie. PRAISE THE LORD!
-"be hopeful of what is to come, Avery!" 1 John 3:2-3
-first prayer for summer plans (10/23)
-Jenny Eason (10/23)
-Katey Zimmerman-first prayer about discipleship (10/23)
-USE. ME.
-still doubting security in the Lord. Philippians 3:3-4 (11/14)
-specific prayer for clarity about Kaleo (12/10)
-realization of reservations in my flesh and prayer. confirmation about Kaleo. (1/3)
-"my tongue will ever praise your name"

The Lord wanted to make himself known in my life this semester. Early this fall, I began to pray for the Lord to bring someone to disciple me. He answered my prayer on December 12th. He wanted to make sure my eyes were set on getting to know him better above all else. If I became too focused on meeting with one person and only learned from them, I would have been in a tough spot. I wouldn't say this semester was one wasted, but I would say I spent most of my time being selfish. At times I used ignorance and apathy as an excuse. I only cared about doing things that I thought would help me grow. But I have realized that I can't just take a timeout from my ministry because I am trying to learn something. The two--growth and ministry--go hand in hand. I have felt compassion for the lost girls I know. I have seen a vision of my purpose in Kappa at the U of A. Even if what I've seen is only a tiny, general glimpse, I know the Lord has placed each and every one of the believers on campus for specific reasons. I am ready to run full speed ahead into the work the Lord will call me to. He did teach me a lot about his character and my character and how they should complement each other perfectly. He has been slowly revealing to me the areas of my life that need work. Instead of being frustrated or discouraged by my convictions, I am hopeful because I know that this is simply the next step. Once the Lord reveals what needs to be fixed, I've got to fix it, and He is going to be there to help me.

--As I look back on the semester, I can see the Lord's hand in everything that happened. 1. I randomly decided this summer that I wanted to take a Greek language course. In this class, I met a girl who would become one of my closest friends, someone I can literally talk to about anything. And through her, I met so many other girls who really had an impact on me and the path I took this semester. 2. I randomly met a girl at her apartment. Didn't see or talk to her for a few weeks. Met her again at Starbucks. This is where one would say, "and the rest is history." I have never had a friend like her. The Lord has completely blessed our relationship and given me a love and appreciation for her that I can't explain. 3. I met a sophomore Kappa on bid day (but, let's be real, I met a LOT of people that did) and I didn't even remember her. She tweeted at me a couple weeks later. I decided, "I want to be friends with her." So I went to her apartment. We watched the Lizzie McGuire movie. We started spending more and more time together. Now, I trust her more than anyone else I have met. I look up to her and am constantly lifted up and encouraged by the time we spent together. ...... those are just a couple stories of strings of events that the Lord has used to really speak into my life and use the people around me to build me up. i don't know how this post got so long, but it was much needed.

knowing what i know now, i couldn't me more excited about this spring and summer. the Lord is moving. he's not done with me yet.