what if you were called to pack up and leave? what if all the plans you had ever made--big or small--were no longer at all relevant? would you have the strength to leave everyone you've ever known to begin your life in a new and completely unfamiliar place?
i have always thought, sure, i'd be able to do that. but haven't put much effort into it past there. but i recently sat down to actually think through the weight of a decision like that and i was immediately in tears.
the weight of the Lord's calling can be so much heavier than we could ever even think about bearing.
F. Scott Fitzgerald wrote, "There are all kinds of love in this world but never the same love twice." Since i read this quote a few weeks ago, it has permeated by thoughts in several unexpected ways. i love my friends. but each in a completely different way and for completely different reasons. and these are still different than the ways i love my family and the work i do. and still different than the love i have recently felt for the country of England. it consumes my thoughts. my heart longs for relationships with the people. my feet long to walk along the cobblestone streets in town and the grassy paths of the country. it doesn't make much sense, but somehow i have fallen in love with a country i have never even considered for more than a few seconds.
my home is not in a place, but with a vision. and it only makes sense that i would chase that vision. a vision that came not from my own mind for i could never have thought this up on my own.
"There are far better things ahead than any we leave behind." - C.S. Lewis. and it is in this utterance that i find an ounce of hope.
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